Change, it is the only constant as said by Heraclitus. And it is happening to me, to you, to us to a village, a town, a city, a state, a country, the globe and to that matter, to the whole universe. It is just that everyone one is not on the same pace to which the change is taking place.
Now when it comes to changes in things which have been same for quite a while, it causes pain. For example, one has got a plaster since 2 months and has not moved a muscle since then and he/she tries to move the muscle immediately, it causes pain. A lot of things in our society can be correlated to our body. Sudden changes in temperature causes discomfort.
Same is the case with our culture. People who live with and around us are changing may be for their own good or may be for their bad, only the time will decide. It is only the pace at which it is changing hurts (to some people). But the truth is that everything around is keeps updating. The challenge is to accept the things or it would be better if I should say adapt to these changes.
Now coming to the point, why all of it what i said was meant for. The most challenging things which are changing in our society is our women and the attitude of society towards this change. I have read umpteen articles and blogs. 'n' things you must know about a modern girl, x things a modern boy should do, y facts about 'bla bla' things. I have had enough of them. All of them either discuss the problems and put them to you in a fancy way or start another debate. I haven't come across any article which suggests the solution for these...
So now I suggest x solutions for x number of problems with respect to most talked about points when an article on women is published:
1. Why a girl should change name or surname after marriage??
Ans. It is not totally necessary. If the girl is happy being called by different, better sounding name or surname, let her chose herself. As far as documents are concerned, I would suggest not changing names in the documents because it is hell lot of trouble for both.
How feminazis think about this:
Oh my god!! You have changed a girl's complete identity. How cruel and mean!!.
How families with this tradition think:
She has become a daughter of our's and she is a new member to our family. We shall name her with which we will call her with love.
How a person like me think about this:
Think for a name she likes and call her with the name as a nick name. We all have nick names given by our friends, cousins and parents. What is the matter if you get a good nick name. At least it would be better than some name by which you were constantly bullied over by friends. Just chill..
2. Why a girl leave her home after marriage.
Ans. Don't leave. Let him come to your house and live as a "Ghar Jamai". Will he be able to cope? Or your family or society? We have to strike a balance between what we want and what cannot be changed. There would be something in your mind after you decided to marry him. Why it becomes so difficult to leave home after marriage when it is not difficult to leave home for job?
I think in most of the cases, girls put this point just to make sure they live away from boy's parents, which is not fair. Nobody is telling a girl not to meet her parents or take care of them. It is up to you how you manage. If they are alone, bring them to you at your home. But make sure you take care of them as good as they were alone.
So instead of making it worst for yourself, make yourself a better person by respecting both the boy's parents and your's. Mind it, this goes same for the boy too.
3. Why should a girl only cook food at home. Why not a boy?
Ans. In most of the cases.these things are said by lazy girls or women who don't want to work. I have seen a lot of old, middle aged and new couples. In most of the cases, husband is more than ready to help in the household chores because it is a fact that these things are basic to keep the life running.
If you still have problem cooking at home, due to whatever reason genuine or fake, hire a cook. You must have capacity and availability to do that. What if for some reason your job location is at a place where there are no cooks available. You have to deal with it right? So don't choose the easy way out and both boys and girls, work hard to make meals at home and stay fir because "Ghar ka khana is always ghar ka khana" (Home cooked food is always good). And yes, from "Ghar ka khana" don't you miss food by your mom anytime? So don't you want your children to enjoy same kind of satisfaction when it comes to food? I hope you got my point.
Watch this if you didn't:
Ghar ka Khana
4. Why should only a girl work at home. Why not a boy?
Ans. Again! Don't! Hire a maid. But what if you are not capable or there aren't any maids available? Will you sleep on a dusty bed? Will you cook in a dirty kitchen or bath in a stinky bathroom? All these tantrums whether a boy or a girl are outcome of just a lazy butt. It is your life, you have to make a solution out of problems. If you don't like to dust or wipe, but machines (Do you have money for that?). If not, lift the broom and wiper and both of you get on to the work.
5. Why a girl need to do a job when husband is working?
Ans. Question is not if she needs to, it is if she wants to. It is beneficial to the future of the family if both husband and wife are working. If one is earning enough other one can enjoy doing a job or business which interests him/her. Moreover, if unfortunately one of them is no more, there won't be a case where family is not having enough money to even sustain itself. So the choice is her's and your's. It is up to you both how you manage your job and your home. Because at the end of the day, you have married each other to spend life together. What will be the point in doing a job from early morning to midnight when it doesn't gives you time for yourself and family?
My suggestion, one of you should choose a job which is less demanding and gives you optimal money and time at home. Now don't say there isn't a job like this. haha!
6. Women (specially modern women) often demand equality when they shouldn't!
Ans. I will give only examples for this topic.
Ex-1 A lady casual labor works really hard in bright sun, heavy rain and cold atmosphere. Will you be able to work in such conditions if the job demands? Don't give me examples of a few pilots, soldiers and sports persons. Talk about majority of women. How many of you get out in sun without a cover? How many of you go out in rain and cold weather to work? Accept that there are some works which modern women avoid due to nature of the work and there are some jobs which only men can do.
Ex -2 An old man standing in bus barely able to balance himself when bus starts or stops, while young girls sitting listening to music or chatting on their phones.
There are many of these kinds. Comments on this article show them up.
7. Why the baby is only my responsibility?
Ans. Of course, it is not just your's. The baby is of course your's, isn't it? A new born cannot take care of itself. We have to.take care of it for some time. It may vary from child to child. In earlier days, father was the bread earner and used to provide all facilities to mother and baby by earning. Nowadays women are also earning and they also share expenses at home. So should men also do when it comes to taking care of child. They must also take care of the baby when the mother is tired or needs rest.
Now an important point. Who should compromise for the job when a new born has come into our lives. Practically, there are a lot of options for women to take a break from their jobs to take care of the baby and then get back into the job after she is ok. Ex- many companies, PSUs and government has options of sabbatical apart from maternity leaves. So be a bit more lenient on men as world isn't. Moreover, it is a proven fact that a father cannot take care of the baby as much as a mother can. Ex- Father can't breastfeed a baby, only a mother can.
In many cases, when the family grows and husband changes jobs or there is some instability in the life. At some point of time one has to make a decision whether to continue a job outside or handle the jobs at home. Famous Indira Nooyi has also said in one of her interviews that she could not be a good mom. So the point here is that there can be a high in only one field of a person's life. If it has to be a career, it has to be it. If it is to be a family, you need to be best at it.
8. I can wear whatever I want. I can do whatever I want. MY CHOICE! Why are you bothered?
Ans. Of course you can wear what you want. But there is a dress for every occasion. You won't wear a formal attire when going to a wedding. Would you? Will you wear a super mini skirt going to office? Or would you wear a Lehnga at an office meeting? Feels odd isn't it?
That's what is the case with the society. People who have been seeing ladies wearing traditional dresses and conservative attire since their lives began find it hard to accept revealing attire all of a sudden. Remember when any item song was released, or a steamy scene appeared on Star Movies a few years ago, you changed the channel immediately. Is it the same today also? Probably you are okay with one or two kissing scenes brushing away on the TV.
So to end this point, I should say dress according to the occasion and situation and not just because you want to or to show off. Mind it, this point goes good for the men too. No one likes tummy clad men in banyans and lungis roaming around.. ;)
To sum up, I would say life is a challenge and don't shy away from these challenges by making fuss out of nothing.
Enjoy liberty with sense of duty and responsibility.
Try to be realistic than (reel)istic.
Try to go higher than to go hyper.
Now when it comes to changes in things which have been same for quite a while, it causes pain. For example, one has got a plaster since 2 months and has not moved a muscle since then and he/she tries to move the muscle immediately, it causes pain. A lot of things in our society can be correlated to our body. Sudden changes in temperature causes discomfort.
Same is the case with our culture. People who live with and around us are changing may be for their own good or may be for their bad, only the time will decide. It is only the pace at which it is changing hurts (to some people). But the truth is that everything around is keeps updating. The challenge is to accept the things or it would be better if I should say adapt to these changes.
Now coming to the point, why all of it what i said was meant for. The most challenging things which are changing in our society is our women and the attitude of society towards this change. I have read umpteen articles and blogs. 'n' things you must know about a modern girl, x things a modern boy should do, y facts about 'bla bla' things. I have had enough of them. All of them either discuss the problems and put them to you in a fancy way or start another debate. I haven't come across any article which suggests the solution for these...
So now I suggest x solutions for x number of problems with respect to most talked about points when an article on women is published:
1. Why a girl should change name or surname after marriage??
Ans. It is not totally necessary. If the girl is happy being called by different, better sounding name or surname, let her chose herself. As far as documents are concerned, I would suggest not changing names in the documents because it is hell lot of trouble for both.
How feminazis think about this:
Oh my god!! You have changed a girl's complete identity. How cruel and mean!!.
How families with this tradition think:
She has become a daughter of our's and she is a new member to our family. We shall name her with which we will call her with love.
How a person like me think about this:
Think for a name she likes and call her with the name as a nick name. We all have nick names given by our friends, cousins and parents. What is the matter if you get a good nick name. At least it would be better than some name by which you were constantly bullied over by friends. Just chill..
2. Why a girl leave her home after marriage.
Ans. Don't leave. Let him come to your house and live as a "Ghar Jamai". Will he be able to cope? Or your family or society? We have to strike a balance between what we want and what cannot be changed. There would be something in your mind after you decided to marry him. Why it becomes so difficult to leave home after marriage when it is not difficult to leave home for job?
I think in most of the cases, girls put this point just to make sure they live away from boy's parents, which is not fair. Nobody is telling a girl not to meet her parents or take care of them. It is up to you how you manage. If they are alone, bring them to you at your home. But make sure you take care of them as good as they were alone.
So instead of making it worst for yourself, make yourself a better person by respecting both the boy's parents and your's. Mind it, this goes same for the boy too.
3. Why should a girl only cook food at home. Why not a boy?
Ans. In most of the cases.these things are said by lazy girls or women who don't want to work. I have seen a lot of old, middle aged and new couples. In most of the cases, husband is more than ready to help in the household chores because it is a fact that these things are basic to keep the life running.
If you still have problem cooking at home, due to whatever reason genuine or fake, hire a cook. You must have capacity and availability to do that. What if for some reason your job location is at a place where there are no cooks available. You have to deal with it right? So don't choose the easy way out and both boys and girls, work hard to make meals at home and stay fir because "Ghar ka khana is always ghar ka khana" (Home cooked food is always good). And yes, from "Ghar ka khana" don't you miss food by your mom anytime? So don't you want your children to enjoy same kind of satisfaction when it comes to food? I hope you got my point.
Watch this if you didn't:
Ghar ka Khana
4. Why should only a girl work at home. Why not a boy?
Ans. Again! Don't! Hire a maid. But what if you are not capable or there aren't any maids available? Will you sleep on a dusty bed? Will you cook in a dirty kitchen or bath in a stinky bathroom? All these tantrums whether a boy or a girl are outcome of just a lazy butt. It is your life, you have to make a solution out of problems. If you don't like to dust or wipe, but machines (Do you have money for that?). If not, lift the broom and wiper and both of you get on to the work.
5. Why a girl need to do a job when husband is working?
Ans. Question is not if she needs to, it is if she wants to. It is beneficial to the future of the family if both husband and wife are working. If one is earning enough other one can enjoy doing a job or business which interests him/her. Moreover, if unfortunately one of them is no more, there won't be a case where family is not having enough money to even sustain itself. So the choice is her's and your's. It is up to you both how you manage your job and your home. Because at the end of the day, you have married each other to spend life together. What will be the point in doing a job from early morning to midnight when it doesn't gives you time for yourself and family?
My suggestion, one of you should choose a job which is less demanding and gives you optimal money and time at home. Now don't say there isn't a job like this. haha!
6. Women (specially modern women) often demand equality when they shouldn't!
Ans. I will give only examples for this topic.
Ex-1 A lady casual labor works really hard in bright sun, heavy rain and cold atmosphere. Will you be able to work in such conditions if the job demands? Don't give me examples of a few pilots, soldiers and sports persons. Talk about majority of women. How many of you get out in sun without a cover? How many of you go out in rain and cold weather to work? Accept that there are some works which modern women avoid due to nature of the work and there are some jobs which only men can do.
Ex -2 An old man standing in bus barely able to balance himself when bus starts or stops, while young girls sitting listening to music or chatting on their phones.
There are many of these kinds. Comments on this article show them up.
7. Why the baby is only my responsibility?
Ans. Of course, it is not just your's. The baby is of course your's, isn't it? A new born cannot take care of itself. We have to.take care of it for some time. It may vary from child to child. In earlier days, father was the bread earner and used to provide all facilities to mother and baby by earning. Nowadays women are also earning and they also share expenses at home. So should men also do when it comes to taking care of child. They must also take care of the baby when the mother is tired or needs rest.
Now an important point. Who should compromise for the job when a new born has come into our lives. Practically, there are a lot of options for women to take a break from their jobs to take care of the baby and then get back into the job after she is ok. Ex- many companies, PSUs and government has options of sabbatical apart from maternity leaves. So be a bit more lenient on men as world isn't. Moreover, it is a proven fact that a father cannot take care of the baby as much as a mother can. Ex- Father can't breastfeed a baby, only a mother can.
In many cases, when the family grows and husband changes jobs or there is some instability in the life. At some point of time one has to make a decision whether to continue a job outside or handle the jobs at home. Famous Indira Nooyi has also said in one of her interviews that she could not be a good mom. So the point here is that there can be a high in only one field of a person's life. If it has to be a career, it has to be it. If it is to be a family, you need to be best at it.
8. I can wear whatever I want. I can do whatever I want. MY CHOICE! Why are you bothered?
Ans. Of course you can wear what you want. But there is a dress for every occasion. You won't wear a formal attire when going to a wedding. Would you? Will you wear a super mini skirt going to office? Or would you wear a Lehnga at an office meeting? Feels odd isn't it?
That's what is the case with the society. People who have been seeing ladies wearing traditional dresses and conservative attire since their lives began find it hard to accept revealing attire all of a sudden. Remember when any item song was released, or a steamy scene appeared on Star Movies a few years ago, you changed the channel immediately. Is it the same today also? Probably you are okay with one or two kissing scenes brushing away on the TV.
So to end this point, I should say dress according to the occasion and situation and not just because you want to or to show off. Mind it, this point goes good for the men too. No one likes tummy clad men in banyans and lungis roaming around.. ;)
To sum up, I would say life is a challenge and don't shy away from these challenges by making fuss out of nothing.
Enjoy liberty with sense of duty and responsibility.
Try to be realistic than (reel)istic.
Try to go higher than to go hyper.
